You Know You're A Mizzy When
by Histoire de le Coeur
Summary: A checklist that I've used to keep my obsession...completely overboard! Not that funny, but totally true. Hope ya like!
1. Beginners'

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

A/N: Any of my A/N's will be in parentheses and bolded. Enjoy or flame! Your choice!

**You know you're a Les Miz Freak when….**

1. You understand the following abbreviations:

OBC/OBR

CSR

TAC

OLC/OLR

**(Don't expect me to tell you anytime soon, MWHAHAHA!)**

2. You **know **Taylor Swift's "You Belong with me" is just a rip-off of OMO **(IT IS!)**

3. You try on a red vest and people can hear "Do You Hear the People Sing?" coming from the dressing room. **(Believe me, I've done this.)**

4. You're too lazy to remember people's names, so you address them according to their "inner Mizzy." **(True, I now call one of my friends Mabeuf)**

5. You'll go to a completely irrelevant play, just to see a former LM ensemble boy/girl who got a lead role.

6. You can list at least three or more actors who have ever been in LM. **(Enjy = Michael Maguire, Aaron Lazar, Jimmy Bain, David Burt, etc.)**

7. Instead of taking part in the over-clichéd Team Edward vs. Team Jacob debates, you've started a Team Cosette vs. Team Eponine debate.

8… With yourself.

9. Your friends confiscate any objects or furniture you may own that could help you, oh let's say, build a barricade with.

10. After they do so, you say that they're "royalist pigs" who're are scared to "see the people rise!"

11. Let's just say, that any one who asks you for your favorite colors should be afraid…very afraid.** (I've done this too)**

12. You've been told more than once to shut up, during you're midnight-in-the-garden verses of "In my Life," hoping that Marius will come.

13. When asked for an adjective that describes someone as "inspiring," "a great leader," or "godly," you have to bite your tongue so as not to scream "Enjolraic!"

14….or you scream it anyway. **(I do)**

15. For anyone to insult even your least favorite character/song they'd have to be Javertishly suicidal.

16. Since your parents won't let you get a tattoo, you've written '24601' on your chest in Sharpie. **(I have, it disappeared)**

17. Anyone who has an L in their name is subject to have 3 more L's added to it.

18. Your dying words will be somewhere along the lines of "Vive la Republique!"

19. Your boyfriend broke up with you, just because you called him 'Enjy'/ 'Marius'/ whoever your favorite LM man is

20….3 times.

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**Yeah, I know it was my feeble attempt at comedy. But honestly, I have used this as a checklist, and others I've found floating around. :) Still review please! I just wanted to get this up. I haven't seen one on fanfiction so far.**

**Well, Enjy says "Hi!" or "Help!" It's kinda muffled. ;)**


	2. A Bit More HardCore

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

A/N: Any of my A/N's will be in parentheses and bolded. Enjoy or flame! Your choice!

**You know you're a Les Miz Freak when….**

21. Someone asks you who Colm Wilkinson is, you just laugh and walk away. **(As if they could be serious!)**

22. You've attempted redecorating your room to look more like the interior of a big elephant. **(wink, wink.)**

23. You confuse everyone by talking in argot. **(Taf mezig!)**

24. You petitioned to have June 5th and June 6th certified as international holidays.** (The French might appreciate it)**

25. You get up in front of an English class **(doesn't have to really be your's in particular)** and say "Today we'll be discussing 'Les Miserables' unquestionably the best piece of literature to be published..." etc. and get yelled at by the teacher and besieged by spitballs/pointy pencils/ furry woodland creatures/etc.

26. When asked to write your address you put "55 Rue Plumet."** (I did this once, and almost died laughing when they believed me)**

27. You cast characters of other fandoms into Les Miz.** (I'm working on one)**

28. You draw finger puppets on your fingers and make them act out parts of Les Miz. **(It's really funny to watch your pinkie finger singing "Je suis tombe par terre, C'est la faute a Voltaire." It's awkward when you get caught)**

29. You wear a hat just to ask people if they would like it.

30. You buy one of those big winter coats with the insanely large buttons, just so you can put a flower in one.

31. You have or plan to dress up as your favorite Les Miz character for Halloween.** (I do, even if I look like a complete idiot)**

32. When someone gets on your nerves you call them "Thenard" or another character you wouldn't mind hitting. **(My computer broke down and I called it that. Then I went back to calling him Aldo.)**

33. To annoy you, your friend pronounces 'Javert' like it's spelled.** (Jav-irt).** You then yell "It's JAAVVVEEEERRRRRTTTTT!" **(Pronouncing it correctly= Zcha-vair)**

34. Everything you own is based off the color red. Or black.

35. Your friends think you're insane for loving a "dead guy."

36. Your comeback to that is (**Note: It helps if these friends in particular are Twihards)** "Well, Forks may be for vampires, but Paris is for revolutionaries!"** (I have used this one, earning me loads of blank-stares)**

37. You call your local radio station asking them to play 'Insert Fave LM Song Here,'** (I so have to do this some time)**

38. When you're baby-sitting you pretend to be Gavroche taking care of his "children."** (I just sing 'Castle on a Cloud' to get them to go to sleep or recite "Twas the Morning of June 6th" by La Pamplemousse)**

39. You see the car model 'Le Baron' and think "Oh, Marius..."

40. **(If you have braces/retainer)...**You call your braces/retainer 'Javert' because it keeps everything in line.

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**Hope you liked! Review! Unless, in which case, you hate me...just say so! :) And you'll be happy to know that I deleted CMWYS. I admit I am too. -BnS**


	3. Quotation Marks Rock

**Disclaimer: Seriously? I wasn't even alive when people probably started making their own versions of these lists! I DON'T OWN LES MIS!!**

**And thanks to LlllahuRa for numbers 46 and 47!**

**A/N: Any of my A/N's will be in parentheses and bolded. Enjoy or flame! Your choice!**

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**You know you're a Les Miz Freak when….**

41. You compare cartoons like Donald Duck to Grantaire.

42. Your teachers no longer suspect you of sucking up when you say you love a piece of classic literature.

43. You involuntarily have a dream involving:

a. You carrying around the Brick

b. An object that reminds you of something/one from the Brick (i.e. a sign that says "Jehan")

c. hearing a song from the musical

44. Your friends have a psychologist on hand if they have to hear about "those damn students" again.

45. People can tell if you're coming down the hall by the incessant hum of DYHTPS.

46. When playing dodgeball, you pretend you're firing at the National Guard.

47...and yell "Vive l' whatever your team name is!"

48. You want to live in Virginia, just because there's a small town with the zip code '24601' there.

49. You say "Patron-Minette" instead of "morning."

50. When asked to pass out flyers or something, you pretend you're Enjolras spreading the news of the Republic.

51. When you completely disregard the 'les' suffix on other words.

52. Your friends don't take you out at night anymore because they're sick of hearing about "some clutz named Lucifer."

53. You're trying to get people into your Mizzie club and/or revolution.

54. You label your books, not by according to their subject, but by which Mizzy they most resemble.** (Ex: Thenardier for Home Ec.)**

55. The only "F-word" you know comes after 'liberty' and before 'equality'.

56. Burger King has never had so many problems with one person.

57. When asked your religion you reply "Mizism."

58. You more or less had to remind yourself to take calming breaths when you looked at a map of Paris and saw that there actually was a street called the "Rue _Blomet."_

59. Anyone can get you to do anything by saying "It's like Les Miz." (**That's how I saw 'Braveheart'.)**

60. You claim that you should not have to work/got to school on October 8th because it's a "major holiday" in your "religion".

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**Please review! I haven't heard from anyone in a while. I'm lonely. By the way, that thing about the Rue Blomet is true! Plus 'Braveheart' = Best movie ever!! And it was like Les Miz...just without the epic musical numbers. -BnS :)**


	4. I'm All Out

**Chapter 4! This is TOTALLY AWESOME (for those of you who know 'A Very Potter Musical')!**

**Disclaimer: This is so degrading. Alas, no I do not own the greatness of Les Miz. Or the phrase "beslubbering follyfallen crankerblossom." There's a new one...**

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You know you're a Mizzy when...

61. You're actually reading this drivel.

62. You've _been_ reading this drivel for the last three chapters.

63. Actors have recognized you from all you're little "trips" to the stage door.

64. Your current desktop is Les-Miz related.

65. You can sing the entire musical from memory.

66. Your bookmarks' folder is stuffed with Les Miz websites.

67. Completely random phrases such as "I'm all tied up," make you burst into song/speech from Les Miz.

68. You think that the Brick should be a required reading in all schools.

69. Number 68 is the reason people keep telling you _not_ to go into the teaching profession.

70. The phrase "Oh, if I ever directed a movie version..." has escaped your lips much more than once.

71. You've tryed to learn French solely by learning the lyrics to the French versions of Les Miz songs, like "J'avais reve d'une autre vie" and "Mon histoire."

72. You twitch whenever someone says a character's name wrong.

73. The margins of your notebooks are filled with Les Miz doodles, that have turned into full-fledged fanart.

74. You can name every cut and change made between 1985 and now.

75. You know the exact date when the completely unabridged 1,463 page Brick came out.

76. You'd give a kidney to get your hands on Victor's Hugo's original Les Miserables, notations and all.

77. You'd give the _other_ kidney for James Fenton's original lyrics and notes.

78. If you thought "Yes" to Number 70, then you've performed it for your friends/family/strangers/anyone who gives a crap/anyone who doesn't...etc...

79. You researched 19th century homosexuality, hoping it might give you a link for a slash fic.

80. If a book's summary even has the word 'revolution' in it, it's leaving with you.

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**I hoped you liked it! Oh and a few facts about myself and this list, if I may:**

**1. My current desktop is 'A Simple Guide to Fangirls: Featuring Feuilly and Bossuet.'**

**2. If you have a Les Miz movie version of your own in mind, PM me and tell me how it goes. I'll tell you mine....**

**3. I *do* know the exact date! Check out goodreads. com to find out!**

**4. I was reading a book called "The Red Necklace" and its summary said "Revolution is afoot in France..." That's where I stopped. And the cashier was wearing a FLEUR-DI-LIS NECKLACE!!!**

**OK, review!**


	5. YES, VICTORY IS OURS!

**Disclaimer: Alas, no I do not own the greatness of Les Miz. **

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You know you're a Mizzy when...

81. You have two or more completely different songs on your playlist titled "Revolution."

82. You're mad at any of your friends, who have or are reading the ABRIDGED edition because they're cheating the much better UNABRIDGED edition.

83. You absolutely refuse to believe the theory that all French revolutionaries are evil because of that little incident with the guillotine.

84. Sydney Carton **(next to whoever shot Les Amis)** is now one of your _least_ favorite literature characters. Cheating the people of an aristocrat's head, how dare he?!

85. Those girls who think they're queens better watch out! Revolution's a-brewin'!

86. Hans Matheson is on your non-musical hit-list.

87. After seeing a show, you're the first to run backstage and bombard the actors with questions for answering, and body parts for signing.

88. People just assume that you're crazy just because you think a barricade would go nicely on your town's main highway.

89. On a birthday/other card that you're giving your friend, you can't help by quote "Drink With Me".

90. You refer to everyone as "citizen".

91. **(Absolutely NOOOOOOOO offense intended towards Dr. King, for he is one of my idols)**But...you believe he plagiarized the "I have A dream" from Grantaire's speech in the Cafe.

92. The phrase "Riot Like It's 1832!" is not at all unintelligible to you.

93. You automatically put a '17' in front of this number.

94. The fact that you've gotten a guy to read The Brick to you just means that you've created another Mizzy, and nothing more.

95. People ask you your name and you reply with hesitation, "Eponine."

96. ....And when said people ask you if you have a boyfriend you a) completely break down into tears or b) automatically burst into OMO

97. You've tried bribing someone by telling them you won't talk about Les Miz for a whole day (GASP!) if they do what you're trying to bribe them into doing. (Never following through with it of course)

98. You can think of more than fifty things that sparkle in Les Miz than those [extremely censored material that would make Marius cry] Twilight vampires!

99. To you, the phrase "Party at my house!" means that there will be debating on which of the many Les Miz movie versions have been most canon.

100. You're celebrating the fact that you've done all 100 of these feats that prove your Mizziness! Congratulations to all of you out there! Stay Miz!

**

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**

**P.S. Just kidding about the Sydney Carton thing! I love him!**

**WOOOOOT!!! We made it to 100!**

Review! :)


	6. The Aftermath

**Disclaimer: Alas, no I do not own the greatness of Les Miz. **

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You know you're a Mizzy when...

101. You're checking the Les Miz fanfiction archives from a school computer.

102. You write Les Miz fanfiction from a school computer.

103. During Computers class. (**Which I am right now)**

104. You're friends who are considering reading Les Mis come up to you to ask you about the rumored "optional parts" of the Brick.

105. The above confuses you way beyond the bounadaries of the confusion of a math problem or the Russian alphabet.

106. Once you figured it out, you were pissed off beyond the boundaries of being pissed off usually reserved for Marie-Suzettes and someone who has never heard of *insert favorite political/literary/other figure*

107. Therefore, "An Upright Man", "Waterloo", "A Parenthesis", "A Few Pages of History", and "The Intestine of the Leviathan" are NOT optional!

108. The first thing you do when you get a new playbill is look for people who were in Les Miz. (In 'Billy Elliot' I counted a Gavroche, a Young Cosette, and a Valjean understudy!)

109. You wonder if Non-canonism is something that will never go away, even though you hope so much for it to, like rascism and homophobia.

110. You're planning public burnings of Laura Kalpakian's 'Cosette', without even reading it first.

111. Once you have read it, you're not just burning it, you're also bestowing upon it the most intense form of torture our fandom has to offer.....

112. ...yes, to Eponine it goes!

113. You disagreed very strongly with the above because, hey, no one likes an Eppie-bopper.

114. The latter in no way means to imply that we are disregarding her obvious "afflictions", as only a true Mizzy would know, not just someone who listens to Les Miz and calls themselves Mizzy. (Yes, Carolz I'm looking at YOU)

115. After reading that you shouted something like "Vive la Brique!" (_Long live the Brick)_

116. Because those who can recite the whole musical by heart are nothing compared to we who can recite whole speeches with just as much enthusiasm as when the words were first spoken.

117. Or we who can do either or both in French!

118. Your license plate is/will be customized to something like '24601' or '2BFREE'.

119. That school edition you saw last night could've been much better right?

120. You were already reaching for the Brick or a recording back at about 105.

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**Hey! What do you know? Summer came early I guess.**


	7. Just Say When

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Disclaimer: *being held hostage by Les Miz characters for thinking for one millesecond that they were in fact mine to control* Please let me just say one thing to my readers...Thanks...A piece of advice: Never suggest to Les Miz characters how awesome it would be if they would perform RENT for our own morbid amusement.

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You Know You're a Mizzy When...

121. You audition for Les Miz (even if it is a School Edition) even if you know you have no possible shot. (I did on Barricade Day Part Two, 2010, for it was so freakishly scheduled for that day. I wished everyone a Happy Barricade Day and contemplated bringing my Banner but I didn't...And I saw a kid, who I saw playing Javert a while ago, audition. HE SANG JAVERT'S SUICIDE! *fangirl sigh*)

122. Your countdown to Barricade Day goes down something like this: Three days more...two days more...ONE DAY MORE (including the whole rest of the song following in that context)

123. You leave Les Miz related voicemails, like if you and your friend are going to see Les Miz the next day, you leave a voicemail with the end of 'One Day More' playing. "One more dawn, one more day, one day more!"

124. You just had one of those famous 'One Day More' moments.

125. If a School Edition was, dare I say it...GOOD and had surprisingly canon parts and used unrecorded lyrics, which by far ruled out the fact that Enjolras nor Fantine was blonde, after Act I you had a 'little' Miz-gasm of joy.

126. So 'little', the people behind you were considering calling an ambulance because you couldn't breathe.

127. Moving on (because honestly what are the odds of the last two things happening)...you exclaimed something like "C'mon! 'Master of the House' being canon is more likely than an SE being GOOD!"

128. You think I should be mentioning a lot more slash-related feats.

129...But you also know how many people would get offended by that, because there are so many people in this fandom who can't take what might actually be canon.

130. You know the difference between serious OOCness and parodies meant to be OOC because that's how they're funny.

132. You realize this is becoming more of an epic rant on the problems in this fandom, than what it was prior to this: A list of ways to get yourself your very own straightjacket!

133. Your homepage is the LMFFI, Chanvrerie . net, abaisse. the-barricade. net, fanfiction. net or any other Les Miz related website.

134. You know how 24601 can become 404.

135. You have an Official Les Miz Playlist...

136. Onto which you shamelessly added "It's Raining Men".

137. Your Brick has incoherent notes scribbled down on it's margins, that only made sense at the time they were written...

138. Now they're just a mixture of acronyms, symbols, and nonexistant initials...

139. such as "E=IDov . lep" or "Cur. Q.B.S."

140. You know the very simple question that determines whether or not someone is true Mizzy.


	8. Can You Believe It?

********

Disclaimer: If I owned Les Miz,man, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da...alas another failed FOTR parody...Alright you know I don't own Les Miz by now right?

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You Know You're a Mizzy When...

141. If, after reading the Brick, you were casted into a production...

142. In which you hope to instill a sort of canonness into the show...

143. And you cried when that 17-year-old Enjolras-look-alike didn't get the part he was meant for, as hinted at in the latter.

144. You laughed in the face of 'Wasps' Nest'...

145. Even though you secretly hoped it was true! (Don't lie, now)

146. David Thaxton's performance as Enjolras had you squeeing like the fangirl you are.

147. He _almost_ makes you believe in 'Orestes Drunk and Pylades Fasting'.

148. You giggle or smirk every time you see the Vest, wondering if the actor knows the proposed story behind it all.

149. You think that Les Miz should be it's own classical allusion. (i.e. "And Sam followed Frodo, and I say that as one might say 'And Grantaire followed Enjolras'")

150. You _claim _to know and understand every classical allusion and/or reference in the Brick.

151. You'd like to see how a fan-made movie adaptation would go.

152. And you know it would almost be pathetic how much more screen time Les Amis or even Javert would get as opposed to Marius, Cosette, and even Valjean.

153. You'd like to find the happy medium between the bashing and bopping of Eponine...

154. And in this fandom where the main question is "Enjolras: Top or Bottom?", finding that happy medium would be like winning the Nobel Prize.

155. December is now "the season to be Joly"...

156. Which calls for incessant singing of "Grantaire the Drunkard", "Enjy the Red-Flagged Rebel", and "The 12 Days of Les Miserables".

157. You visit lesmis . com simply to watch the automatic footage of 'One Day More'.

158. You were exceedingly depressed when you visited it and found out that they'd taken it down.

159. You were asked your favorite Les Miz character and said "I'll have the answer for you tomorrow."...

160. The next day you came in with a 5-page (or more) essay on why it is impossible to pick a favorite Les Miz character.

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**I really don't regret anything, except maybe the first part of 154. It was inspired by a rant on Eponine I read. Couldn't resist. Review, mes amis!**


	9. PostShow Depression Chapter

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Disclaimer: I'm bored...pretend there's something witty here, explaining how I don't own Les Miz.

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You Know You're a Mizzy When...

161. Despite your best efforts, 'Master of the House' is stuck in your head on a regular basis.

162. You get exceedingly pissed when people think Les Miz is about _the_ French Revolution.

163. When circumstances call for you to listen to music you never normally would listen to, you try to relate it all to Les Miz.

164. If one of those songs was "You Belong With Me", you thought of Grantaire.

165. Someone asked you for description of, I don't know, the students, let's say, making you very very happy, but making them very very sorry.

166. You know the very simple question that determines whether or not someone is a Javert fangirl.

167. You were indignant at Huck Finn's cavalier attitude towards candle sticks.

168. You stole a loaf of bread.

169. You go to the book store and spend hours comparing one version of Les Miz to another.

170. When making those comparisons, you read a specific, most likely your favorite, passage to determine if it's a good version or not. (I usually go for a description of one of Les Amis, "What could be greater?", O.F.A.P.D., or how they translated "I've come to sleep with you.")

171. If you've been obsessed for a while, you realize how far you've come from being a newbie to the experienced Mizfit you are now. (Because my history as a Les Miz fan is positively atrocious, I'm not even going to tell you what I used to ship, or what I did or did not believe in)

172. You bought/checked out Stendhal's 'The Red and the Black' solely because of it's title.

173. You actually read it because of the time period it's set in.

174. You're already planning you're next Barricade Day Celebration/Tribute/Dedication/Trip to Paris.

175. You've played the game "Marry, Do, Kill" with Les Miz characters. (Ex: Marius, Enjolras, Prouvaire- Marry Prouvaire, do Enjolras, and kill Marius)

176. You've created a Les Miz version of Rock, Paper, Scissors. (There are many forms of this. The one I prefer to use is called Law, Dandy, Student. Law beats Student, Student beats Dandy, and Dandy beats Law.)

177. You created a whole list of embarassing nicknames for each and every Les Miz character, much more undignified than Enjy or Javvy...or Snookums.

178. You can't bring yourself to use one of them.

179. Because honestly if someone called Feuilly "Pole-dancer", they'd wake up the next morning with a fan-shaped lump in their throat.

180. Same goes for Combeferre being called "Ferre-bear", though instead of fan-shaped, it'd be more book-shaped.

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Well the production of Les Miz I was in ended it's run on Sunday...I was in tears after One Day More alone. After the Finale, both Javert and Enjolras hugged me but it only made me cry more.


	10. A Note on the Mizzian Species

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Disclaimer: I don't own Les Miz and neither do those guys who sang 'Les Mis Rhapsody' but that didn't stop them, did it?

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You Know You're a Mizzy When...

181. You've started a Les Miz Fund, in order to pay for Bricks, shows, film adaptations, or apparel to further fuel your obsession.

182. You frequently ask yourself "What would *insert favorite Mizzy here* do?"

183. Therefore, unless your favorite Mizzy is Montparnasse or Thenardier or another Patron-Minette member (which is perfectly fine and you know it), you ended up donating all the money you saved in 181 to charity...

184. Particularly charities for convicts, wrongfully accused innocents, orphans, disabled workers, single mothers, and inner-city kids.

185. You wonder if the Authoress will keep this list going all the way to the 24, 601st feat.

186. You know that that would have to be an especially Mizzian feat.

187. You memorized 'Les Mis Rhapsody'.

188. Or any of the other spectacular skits/songs put on by the Australian cast. (Wasn't 'Enjolras: Saint or Sinner' to die for?)

189. You stuck a 7 in this number.

190. When someone openly proclaims how boring they thought the Barricade Sequence (in the musical) was (believe me people have told me they thought so), you bombarded them with a merciless tirade that went something like "Do you KNOW what they were doing?"

191. Or if you're not exactly the "merciless tirade" person, you pretended not to understand what they could possibly mean by that and went on to glorify it as though they had said nothing.

192. If you're not the "merciless tirade" person, you wonder how long you've lasted in this fandom...

193. You also stuck a 7 in this number.

194...Because in my experience, Mizzies tend to be long-winded and opinionated, usually a la their favorite character.

195. You're loving the Authoress's referring to Mizzies as though they were their own species.

196. And you agree.

197. Because really...we are.

198. You've honest-to-Hugo considered which Mizzy would make the best lover.

199. After many sleepless nights that involved comparing and contrasting diagrams, discourses, and legitimate thought as to the future, you came to a conclusion.

200. You went to vote on the Abaisse poll, and you were very disappointed that either you could only vote once or that you're chosen one was not included on the list.

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**Review review review! And maybe we'll talk about making 198-200 come true. ;)**


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